Friday 26 September 2014

Palak Paneer*, (you will succeed where I...mostly? succeeded)

As you know, I’m currently living in a house with the whole fam. We're taking turns cooking, and I'm trying each time it's my turn to use at least one ingredient that I have never seen before, or never cooked with before. Palak paneer is always one of my favourite dishes at Indian restaurants in Canada, and I had never cooked with paneer before. So this COULD BE DELICIOUS. 

I suggest, if you have never had this dish, that instead of scrolling down to my photo of my finished product, you Google it, or like, get Indian take-out or something. I promise that is a better idea. Continue reading to find out how you can do this better than I did, because you probably have a reasonable selection of kitchen appliances!!! Mine still tasted good but it looks a little wrong.

Okay.

Time: about a half hour including simmer-time
Serves: 4? how hungry are you?
Easiness: Easy

You need:
-          paneer (Indian homemade cheese—you can get it in some grocery stores/Indian stores/in India…also it is apparently quite easy to make yourself  but I didn’t do that so I can’t help you there.) Amount: however much you want—this is the main protein of the dish. The only protein. Cut into 1- inch cubes.
-          1 large onion
-          5 cloves garlic
-          about a square inch piece of ginger
-          turmeric
-          cayenne
-          cumin
-          coriander
-          garam masala
-          1 tablespoon honey
-          salt n pepa
-          5 tablespoons vegetable oil
-          a whole bunch of spinach. Like the amount that would fit in your largest frying pan, or more than that. Also, you can use frozen spinach for this if you want, it might even be better but I wouldn’t know because you basically can’t buy frozen foods in this town at all.
-          1 green Serrano chili
-          ½ cup yogurt, milk, or coconut milk, or other similar edible substance
-          beer for the chef
  
     1.  Pour yourself some beer into a glass, because you are a classy chef

     2.  Put on rice because you know you will forget to later (but remember to take it off when it’s done because I’m not going to remind you)

     3.  Whisk 3 tablespoons oil, 1 tablespoon honey, some water if needed, a teaspoon of salt, and a bunch of turmeric and cayenne (who actually measures their spices?) in a large bowl. Throw your paneer cubes in the bowl and mix them around until they are coated, then leave to marinate while you do other things

    check out those cubes
         4.  Chop onions. Now is your opportunity to cry about anything you've been meaning to cry about. Let it all out.

         5.  Pull yourself together. Seek solace in beer, but not before removing bug, which has drowned in beer.
         6.  Mince ginger. Smash (or “chop” if you’re boring) the garlic. Throw ginger, garlic, and onion in a BIG frying pan, over medium-low heat, with about 2 tablespoons of oil.
         7.  Add finely chopped Serrano chili now!!! Or, alternatively, for a less spicy meal, forget not only to add but even to buy Serrano pepper, and instead throw in two dried red chilies at the very last second, in manner of bay leaves, sort of.

         8.  Add cumin, about 2 heaping teaspoons or however much you want. Now listen up! THIS NEEDS TO SIMMER FOR LIKE FIFTEEN MINUTES!!!! This is the time when all the spices enter into one holy union of tastiness. You cannot rush into something like that, it’s a big deal. The only thing you need to do to this pan now is add a bit of water and stir it, if you feel like things are sticking or burning

         9.  While that is happening, throw your marinated paneer cubes on a different pan and let them brown on one side. Take them off after a few minutes and leave on a plate.

        10.  While that is happening, blend your spinach in a food processor or related appliance (defrost frozen spinach in microwave first)**
        11.  Once 15 minutes have passed, and/or onion pan has become a golden, caramelized bed of tastes worthy of posting on a food-porn Tumblr blog or something, it is time to add MORE SPICES. Add about a teaspoon each of garam masala, and coriander*** and let the whole thing simmer for another 3-5 mins. Add more water so the spices don’t burn.

        12.  Add spinach, along with ½ cup of water. Simmer until spinach is dark green and cooked.

        13. Turn heat down or off, and slooooowly add milk or yogurt (if you go fast it could curdle). Stir it in, then add paneer and simmer until everything is warm. 

    Serve on rice, with naan or chapatti or nothing. Drink some more beer, and revel in the warm praise of your happy dinner guests, awed by your attractiveness and magnificent cooking skills (or eat it by yourself, I’m not judging you).

    please read on for explanations of why yours will look more
    beautiful. Try the recipe, I swear it's good!!!!!


    *well, yours will be. mine was…similar.
    **I don’t have a blender, and also the spinach I was able to buy here was 99% stems, so my end result looks less smooth and soupy and more like a swamp. Hence why I placed the photo at the end of the recipe.
    ***I’m saying that to sound civilized. really just take a knife and poke a respectable quantity of spices out or the jar. later you may add more! Who knows. Live dangerously. Be free. let your long hair blow in the wind.


    xoxoxoxo


    this recipe was adapted from here and here






    Wednesday 17 September 2014

    Coconut bloggin’

    A short one. Advice on roadside cheap beverages: DO NOT BUY the water because a) there is a chance it is sketchy bad water re-packaged in a water bottle pretending to be all safe and sanitary and also because b) you could be having THIS instead:

    I mean the coconut not the 7-up
    They call it a tender coconut, and you see people drinking them on the streets everywhere (and thus also discarded coconut shells on the street everywhere, and cows eating the discarded coconut shells everywhere). The guy selling them will hack the top off for you with like a machete and then poke a straw in, and when you’re finished drinking it he’ll cut it in half, slice a spoon-shaped piece off, and give it back so you can slurp up the soft pulp, which feels kinda like eating...coconut-flavoured oysters.

    Monday 15 September 2014

    Cheap Samosas: 2 kinds

    Cheap samosas: the comfort food of every McGill student at the low price of 3 for a toonie, and available for EVEN LESS at basically every depanneur across Montreal. I've eaten them so often in the past 4 years I pretty much forgot they were Indian food.

    Shockingly enough, my first actual Indian encounter with this delicious food was one purchased at a uni cafeteria. We were at the The University of Mysore, which the internet tells me has 53, 000 students, to visit the folklore museum. The campus is great, with an enormous amount of green space. We weren't allowed to take photos inside the museum but some of my favourite pieces were the sculptures outside anyway:

    yes, these llamas have their tongues sticking out. .

    Apparently samosas are popular student food here too. I wish I had taken a photo of the "line" to order food in the cafeteria, because it was...more like a riot. People pressing each other against a counter in a disorganized horde, shouting their orders and I have NO IDEA how anyone knew if they were grabbing their own food or someone else's off the counter. I basically ordered samosas because they were the thing that I knew what it was...


    look at that flaky pastry mmmm real spices mmm
    I'm sure this is not the best India has to offer because...cafeteria food. Cold cafeteria food. But so much more delicious than I'd tasted before. Crunchy pepper pods inside, and cardamom, and I don't know what other spices along with soft potatoes and carrots and who knows what else. Really, who knows? Cold cafeteria food is pretty much exactly what the travel clinic person told us not to eat but...what could possibly happen (don't answer this please anyone).


    Now, for our second variety of cheap samosa, we take a step even further into the realm of cheapness, and try this:

    mmmm taste of tradition

    Yes, these are the potato-chip-equivalent of samosas. Like, dried and in a package. Like, hard little balls...Samosa shaped...with stuff inside it... to be honest I wanted chips but the sour cream and onion Lays that they sell here are really sweet? So this was the next best option. And it was far better, and far weirder. What more can you ask for from a Mini Samosa in a plastic package? They are trying their best. 

    Tuesday 9 September 2014

    Thali Time

    forgot to take a picture until we'd almost finished eating
    Within 2 minutes of arriving in Mysore its reputation as a friendly city was proven--when young Mustafa, claiming to be a palace elephant trainer, dressed all in pink, appeared in a puff of smoke and told us we could follow him to where he eats his lunch.

    He said he was just being friendly and wanted nothing in return, and was one of the few people who've spoken to us who was actually telling the truth about that (many will try to sell something or lead you into a store where they get commission, claiming it's an interesting sight they want to show you).

    But anyway, Mustafa was the real deal, and so was the fooooood. Thali the actual Indian way was very similar to Montreal's thali places, but more spice and more delicious, and in this case, all veg. The meal was several curries/sauces, a cabbage thing, yogurt, rice, papadums , and chapati. It was also 50 Rs per person, aka $1. And furthermore, it was served on a GIANT LEAF which tasted sorta like mediocre spinach. 

    (7 more days until we arrive in Kodaikanal and I can shop at the market and try making some of this stuff myself mmmmmm)

    lil bro in the Mysore Monday market

    Tiffin Time



    Breakfast at MTR--Mavalli Tiffin Room--a famous place apparently! A lady on the train told us you can buy MTR products packaged in Indian groceries in the states, but inside it was very non-touristy. Half of the chairs in the upstairs rooms were red plastic lawn chairs, and seating is at big tables with whoever else was sitting there already. When we left the restaurant was closed for the time between lunch/dinner so we had to exit through the extremely steamy, crowded, yell-y, slippery kitchen out a weird smelly back door and down a very narrow alley full of stray dogs and cow poops. We were taken to MTR by our Lalbagh Botanical Gardens tour guide, officially a "Tree Warden," who showed us many beautiful trees and told us many supposedly-tree-related stories about wars, the origins of Quebec, opium, and his wife.

    Not a single person at this restaurant spoke English, but our tour guide, in his semi-british accent, continuously referred to the staff as "these wretched boys," ordered for us, and explained the dishes in great detail.
    fresh-pressed grape juice from local grapes
    South Indian breakfast is typically a few fried or steamed bread-like things, and several chutneys
    .
    rice idly, with 2 chutneys to dip

    crunchy crepe with potatos inside


    this looks like a poop but really it is an almond
    cake in a creamy sauce with maybe nutmeg in it. mmm.
    and last but not least, very very milky, bitter coffee. 


    Saturday 6 September 2014

    *~iN fLiGhT DeLiGhTs~* (WELCOME TO MY BLOG)

    Since I'm in India (unusual, for me) I felt I should maybe start a blog. To write about stuff like how the first thing I saw this morning (our first morning here) was a man leading a mama goat and its babies down a dirt road. Also how the traffic is chaotic to the point of hilarity, and yet strangely less frightening than Montreal traffic. Also how freaking beautiful all the tropical plant life is. 100 foot tall bamboo stands!

    ANYWAY when I expressed my brilliant blogging plan to Liam he pointed out, "maybe a little too like, eat pray...sleep...whatever it is...love?"

    Correct.

    And so: EAT SLEEP SHIT is born. Where I will tell you what I am eating/cooking, and also some other information sometimes (don't worry  I won't actually write about shit probably).

    THE FIRST POST:

    Airplane Food

    We flew Lufthansa from Frankfurt to Bangalore and let me tell you, the meal was far superior to the Air Canada dinner (which I would essentially describe as "chicken in cream"). It was Aloo Gobi and Palak Paneer, decent and surprisingly slightly spicy. Besides the main course, highlights were 1000 islands dressing for some reason (a little taste of home), a thing of "Mango Pickle" (that circular container) which tasted like...oil? a very very dry bread roll which was borderline frozen, and sweet rice.

    How can this be better than air canada dinner? Because that one was chicken. floating. in cream.